Monday, September 14, 2009

Back like Big Dace

Did you miss me?  No!?  Doesn't matter.  I'm back from the far east.  Finally.  I spent my summer in the sandy deserts of Connecticut, not actually on maternity leave (I can't actually get pregnant, cause it would creepishly weird) but working as a basketball coach at a summer camp.  Essentially my job entailed teaching young boys and girls how to shoot a jump shot as wet as Ray Allens, how to trap in a 1-3-1 defense, and the concepts of a fast break.  In reality, most of the time it was "Today we're going to learn how to dribble" and "The rectangular shaped white lines that enclose the court are out of bounds and if you step on them you lose the ball" type of coaching.  

It was a great, great summer.  I met tons of people from all over the world I never EVER would have before.  I can literally go to almost anywhere in the world and have people to stay with.  It's an amazing concept really.  Of course, I told them all about Hawkeye Football.  The only recreational clothing I have has a Tigerhawk stamped somewhere on it.  Naturally, they were extremely curious why I was branded like a heffer.  (Speaking of heffers, I went to Ames this weekend.  The girls there could use some serious work.  Juuuust kidding.  Sorta.  That statement was a sarcastic/serious statement. Figure it out Ames.)  So curious that a few of the internationals traveled all the way to Chicago, with intentions to get to Iowa City, just to see us open our season against UNI. 

Yet, as good as it was, there was tons of things I missed while I was away.  I felt like I lived in a little sheltered, make believe world since I was without Internet, TV, Radio, and basically any other type of news medium for the majority of the two months.  I could get random bits of information from my roommates, like "Bernstine is out for the season."  F.  "Jewel is out for the season."  FFFFFFFFF.  In fact, I just found out that Steve McNair was murdered by his misstress and that he had a seperate home two miles from his family's house for his mistresses.  This world is crazy.

But more than news, I missed the other things much more.  My friends, roommates, and family, some of whom I didn't get to/haven't talked to in a long time while I was away.  I missed Iowa City, late night Taco Bell, Mountain Dew, Mug Night at Brothers, fieldhouse basketball, my own bed, etc.  And of course, I missed my beloved Hawkeyes.

Last year, I started this blog as a part of my Sports Journalism class.  It's been the best assignment I've had so far.  However, that class is over.  So these blog posts no longer count as grades and I'm doing this because I freakin' love it.  It's in my greatest intentions to keep up.  Even if no one reads this anymore.  The biggest difficulty I'll have is that I'm currently enrolled in 17 semester hours.  17 hours is no joke, unless you're at Kirkwood, and even then it probably sucks a little bit.  The other thing is that I'm a Senior.  I'm not sure how that happened and I'm really unsure of where the last three years went, but senioritis is a very real and very dangerous thing.

So let's dive in.

What We Know, What We Don't Know, and What I Made Up

  • Whatever was wrong with Bryan Bulaga, and I'm not sure we'll ever know the exact details, seems to have been figured out.  Bulaga spent a couple of nights in the hospital last week and didn't play against Iowa State.  However, Kirk said he is probable for the Arizona game.  Bulaga's replacement, Freshman Riley Reiff (most famous for running naked through Pita Pit in one of his first weeks on campus.  AWESOME!), more than held his own against Iowa State.  But then again, Iowa State's defensive line was not good at all.  They were poopy.  Really poopy.
  • Speaking of the offensive line, the were horrific against UNI.  Terrible.  Against, Iowa State, much better.  This is probably due to the fact that Gigantosaurus Kyle Calloway was back after serving his suspension for drunkenly driving a moped and that Julian Vandervelde is back after having surgery.  Two key cogs from last year's O-Line never hurt.  Once Bulaga is back and full strength, the Offensive Line should be the force we thought it would be before the season.
  • Let's be honest, UNI is much, much better than Iowa State at this point.  In fact, Fat Grace threw for like 847 yards last Saturday.  Austen Arnaud isn't as bad as he was on Saturday.  (He was seriously atrocious.  Hello 15.9 QB rating).  Also, UNI is better on both the offensive and defensive lines, which is where most games are won or lost.  However, I think the claims that UNI would be a middle of the pack Big 10 team are a little too much wishful thinking.
  • The Heismanzi is not playing well, especially not in the first half.  One of these times, a first half STANZIBALL is going to cost us a game.  I'm not sure what the problem is, but he seems to have a halftime fix for it. 
  • Iowa State linebacker Jesse Smith said earlier in the week, "They (Iowa) aren't as good as we thought."  Actually Jesse, your team is just much worse.
  • DJK is out of Ferentz's mythical dog house.  If a player is hurt, not practicing, or affecting the team negatively, they aren't gonna play.  Period.  Ferentz is an adult.  He's not holding grudges on 20 year old kids.
Run through that hole.  Run into my heart.
  • Brandon Wegher probably thrust himself into a starting role after rushing for 100 yards, a TD, and the sickest one-handed grab on a screen.  Ken O'Keefe even accidentally did something intelligent by lining Wegher up in the slot.  Should be interesting to see how the RB situation plays out.
  • CB Willie Lowe is better than CB Greg Castillo.  Hopefully, CB S.Prater is better than both.  He returns after a two game suspension caused by an evil bartender duping him into boozing too hard and then driving.
  • A.J. Edds and Pat Angerer have been relatively quiet the first two.  Not sure if it's the spread offenses not allowing them to do what they do (kill people with shoulder pads), but the linebackers with the Captain title and S's on their respect chests need to be impact players for this team to win the Big 10.
  • Amari Spievey is ridiculously, ridiculously good.
  • Sash and Greenwood combined for 5 picks.  Ho hum.
  • The Hawks blocked two consecutive field goals against a very FCS team to escape with a win at home in the season opener.  They layed a serious beatdown on a team we always struggle with.  The Hawks are 2-0 and that's all that matters at this point.  WHOOOOOOOOOOOOO DADDY HOT DAMN!!!!!
  • Ames sucks so hard. Owned.
Photos courtesy of the Des Moines Register

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