Friday, November 6, 2009

In Terms of Arbitrary Wishes I've Made While Blowing Out Candles On a Birthday Cake, Here's #1: Every Day SHOULD Be Saturday

That may be the longest title for a blog post in the history of mankind.  In fact, it might even be against the laws of journalsim.  Either way, erroneous.  On both counts.

Because it's Northwestern.

Anyway, it's sorta been a slow week for a variety of reasons.  The foremost being that I had three tests this week over material that, much by my own choosing, I only had mere hours to learn.  Just trying to flex some mental willpower.  Nothing to see here.  Moving on. 

The second reason is that I'm teetering on the verge of cough/runnynose/lost my voice sick and can't move sick because everyone and their mother was out Halloween.  Therefore, I budged many long lines only to not move and eventually leave because the cover for the establishment was ridiculous.  Also, I saw many moms out on Halloween.  NOT acceptable.  While mothers usually hold a bit of an attraction for because their loving, caring, and nurturing nature, a Halloween mom holds the opposite attraction.  You should be taking care of your families, not participating in college-fueled debauchery.  Shame on you.  Hi mom.

The third reason is that, as BlackHeartGoldPants puts it, it's justNorthwestern.  Or the preferred way, JUSTNorthwestern.  There's really nothing to see here.  If Kafka doesn't play, it'll be a piss pounding of epic proportions.  Which in 2009 Hawkeye terms means we'll win 21-3 and hold the lead the entire game.  If Kafka does play, he's their entire offense.  Northwestern is so boring there is nothing to write about them.  Coming from a guy who just wrote a tangent about Halloween moms, that's saying something.

As much as I like plagiarizing...

And trust me, I do.  I can't here.  The college football blog, Every Day Should Be Saturday, is genious.  Seriously, if every day could be Saturday, I would be overcome with emotion.

Anyway, this article is amazing.  Here's a taste...

The redemption of the Dennis Dixon curse. If anyone should be allowed to get silly early about a possible national title, it’s Oregon, who is certainly owed some back credit by the college football universe for the heinous case of Dennis Dixon and the slight flick Crazy Old Testament God gave his ACL two years ago. Without that Dixon is a clearcut Heisman winner and the Ducks’ ambition knows no bounds, so in repayment for that go ahead and look forward to the eventual gutting of whatever Big Ten team you face in the Rose Bowl. (Unless it’s Iowa, where you lose despite having 600 yards of offense and allowing less than 250 yards total to the Hawkeyes. You have no choice.)

Did you hear that, Northwestern?  You have no choice.

No comments:

Post a Comment


web counters